Fighting Oppessive Complusive Disorder

I am that openly neurotic friend who always needs to make everyone happy. I am coming up to a point in my life to where I have to stop thinking about making others happy with my decisions but making the choices that will lead to happiness in life. My boyfriend plays a huge role in all of this planning....and that is the funny thing, he doesn't really plan. He is wonderfully kind and open to new ideas while at the same time is very focused and brave. He constantly reminds me of the 13 year old boy I had a crush on who would climb to the top of a building just to say that he could. That is Jon almost twenty years later, a dreamer who dares to push the limits. Up to new explorations with a Camera in one hand and his laptop in the other. I micro manage situations down to the point where I am utterly nauseous and don't know what to do besides become anxious and stressed. Where does this need to place everything into a box come from?

I am about to embark on a very telling time in my life and I am not sure how I am going to take the first step. It kind of feels like a house of cards but at the same time the strength and love of Jon is what keeps me grounded. I feel as though the last year I have been struggling through this veil of illusions and I am trying to break out and into what life really is all about. It alludes me.